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so just leave it be. what use is there any more?
JIAYINGCapricorn; 160195 Anglican High School 3F'10 AHBand Lowerwinds |
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about this blog
"All the things that break you are all the things that make you strong. You can't change the past, cause it's gone, and you just gotta move on."
- Carrie Underwood
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"Many things have been happening all around but it's really important to just focus on what you're doing at a particular point of time as time can't be rewinds. For whatever that happens in life, you've gotta brace it. For there is no unsolvable obstacle and for there is nothing that can't be faced with a positive attitude. At the end of the day, everything will be okay. If it isn't then it isn't the end yet." Quoted from someone who is really important and special to me. I realise now that no matter what self-explantory I give, I can do nothing about it and my attempts would be futile if you think that way. It's your thinking, mindset, and I can't change them. Sometimes, it's you thinking too much but really, I'm not. But then no matter how many times I say I'm not, you won't believe it. So I'd rather just keep quiet. Everything seems to end quicker when one party is quiet. I've survived for 15 years. This one year may be a tough one, but I can survive this. 31 January 2010
It's the last day of the first month of 2010.Looking back, time seems to pass so fast. But then I wondered, how did I actually live through this month? Yes, I had my fun times and happy days with my great 15th birthday and La Danse Finale, but honestly the rest of the days pretty suck or neutral for me. It's like prepare for it, do it and faced the consequences with tinges of regret & sadness. but then it was like accept, absorb then move on. Life is so fragile yet resilient. Time and time again, I was thrown down a dark well, but time and time again, I managed to climb up again to see the light. And just when I thought I finally won, I was thrown back down again. Yet, I'm still breathing. For 15 years. and that is an amazing feat, for me that is. I'm at the bottom of the well now again. Maybe last year was a bit too smooth sailing for me.. besides SYF and physics. So I can see that 2010 is going to a real tough and challenging year for me. 11 more months to go, 334 days more to go. (how I wish I could just sleep through these days) Today is the day for me to prepare my armour for another coming week down
Life is pretty down for me these few days.I really miss the good old times in which I really laughed every single day. and looking forward to so many things. but now? I feel like I'm just hurrying through each second, each phase of the day, with a neutral feeling.. or maybe it was emptiness. you really fooled us all. Thanks for opening my eyes to once more, see the ugly side of human nature. to think I really thought well of you once and helped you so many times. Currently downloading on HuiMin. gosh. I LOVE HER TTM! ;D La Danse Finale; 230110
230110; LA DANSE FINALEAfter months of preparation, sweat, sadness, anger, frustration, happiness, laughter, yesterday was the day in which everything was paid off and it was really better than expected ^^ the solo w ShiMin was scary though o.o but it turned out better than usual cause ShiMin manged to pitch her high high note and I can finally be heard (according to HuiMin) YAY! Halfway playing El Camino Real and Satchmo, I suddenly felt.. empty. Like hollow and everything. it was really scary.. probably because I thought of the past few months and what tough obstacles I met and gone through, and as what ShiMin said came out alive.But when I heard the audience screaming and shouting Encore, I felt a sense of satisfaction and achievement and that everything that I've sacrificed, mainly studies, was really worthwhile. and I got to play with HuiMin again! (: even though the instrument was screwed -.- there are so many things for me to say but yet nothing can really describe so I shall bury all my thoughts, words and feelings on this really special + important day for AHBand, which also goes down the colourful history of AHBand deep in my heart, never to forget. All I have to say for now is, thank you AHBand for letting me know what's the meaning of ohana (sorry, watching Lilo&Stitch now HAHAHAH), family, friends and the true spirit of a band, AHBand. Thank you sec4s for all the guidance and encouragement and WILD times. And LOWERWINDS! Thank you so much! We're the best section no matter what (Y)(Y) La Danse Finale'10!
10 hours and 29 mins more to AHBand's annual concert, LA DANSE FINALE!WOOTS! okay, I'm starting to feel real excited. Chatted with SHIMIN last night HAHAHAH. SHIMIN! let's WOW the audience tonight! okay, I'm just gonna have fun tonight and do, play my best. SO YUP! AHBAND, LOWERWINDS and soloists men! JIAYOU! tonight is the night! I'm FIFTEEN 15 xD
150110 + 160110First of all, really thank you all for your birthday greetings, smses, cards & presents. You guys really made my birthday this year the best. REALLY. Thank you loads. I could feel the sincerity so yup [: AND okay okay! I got the message that I need to change my red + lousy red water bottle NOW. x) And yayayayaya, I know I'm a pig okay! MY BATCHMATES AH! OMG. Really love you guys for the surprise. Honestly didn't expect the cake. LOVE YOU GUYS. I can tell you all spent alot of time and effort finding my present, wrapping it and getting the cake. AND celebrating my bday w me @ Jack's Place even though we couldnt count down to it. And thanks for the free chocolate facial mask too okay! OMG. FIRST TIME I LET PPL SMEAR CAKE ON ME -.- but I think it kinda worked x) AND I SHALL USE THE MIC TO TORTURE YOU GUYS MORE W MY AWESWOME RENDITIONS OF SHA GUA! Sylvia ah, thanks really for staying all the way to 6+, 7+ to celebrate my bday even though you had a fever. Don't be silly next time okay! MY CLASSMATES! Thank you all! HAHAHAHAHA. I know the schedule was very tight, then you all wanted to sing/do something to me but not enough time but I still love you all! MY BANDMATES + ALUMNI! thank you all for all your birthday greetings and smses. and your presents! HAHAHAHA I got the msg to change water bottle alrd! AND YES JIAHAO/HUIMIN/VANCHIA! I shall try to be more er, GRACEFUL AND TALL HAHA. AND SHIMIN! OMG. what you said is really true. THANK YOU OKAY. I shall treat the cactus like you and water it ONCE a week and let it grow!!! (you're quite smart to give me a cactus cause it's easy to take care of x) MY SECTION! omg. Your card was really sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet. except Ronald's. HAHAHAHAHAHA -evil chong!- LALALLALALALALALA ~~~ thank you guys for the sweet msg. Really very touched and yes Valerie, we shall jiayou together for the next 2 years! HuiNing, 180 cm is a bit erm impossible leh >< RACHEL. HAHAHAHAHA. -sticks your photo onto the board and throws darts- HAHAHAA AND ETHEL! OMG. I'm really very touched every year by your gestures. THANK YOU VERY MUCH! I shall laminate and frame it up! HAHAHA Really thank you all for making my 15th birthday the best + most memorable. REALLY. Thank you loads. I shall always rmbr the efforts you all put in to surprise me and all. TYVM! ALL OF YOU! sucky day
this morning assembly wasn't as bad as I thought. In fact, it seems shorter.BUT things got suckier esp during PE. WHATEVER. -rolls eyes x10000000000000000000000- I'm really disappointed with it, and myself. I expected better. Does this actually mean something ominous? :( I really don't want my results to be like sec1, but my effort seem quite futile.. -SCREAMS IN FRUSTRATION- BAD MOOD >< |