Incipient

-stares at screen-

It's just all too late for regrets and "if"s. I finally understand the real meaning behind why they say treasure every moment you have with one, cause no one will ever know what happens tomorrow.

I'm just... (no feeling can describe it aptly) that the vet told us no matter what, he's old and he's gonna go sooner or later, and predicted that in a week, he would go which made us mentally prepared. Initially, I was just so caught up with my own matters, that I somehow neglected him til last Monday after what the vet said.

One week...

The way he's lying, with his eyes glazed over, hardly responding to us when we call his name.. it's not him.

Just looking at him, I started seeing the images of the past when he was a puppy and growing up.

From the farm, we picked him out, brought him home and my dad was kind of reluctant but his dislike for furry animals is a well-known fact. My brother and I played with, watched him grow up as both of us grow up.

And now, he left us in this world. Somehow, home doesn't feel all that warm anymore..

I will miss all the annoying yet fond things he did like scheming in every single way to get into the house and up the stairs, and my parents have to chase him out of the house cause he'll start creating havoc or barking like crazy when strangers to him come and always ready to pounce, or wagging his tail so enthusiastically and running up to me, wanting a pet on his head whenever I come back home from school or when my family just came back from overseas.

Those are the daily things he did, other than guarding the door, which became part of my daily routine and when I was first thrown to this world without his vital self last week, it felt weird. There was no more barks from his which somehow become my morning call/alarm, there's no more of him running up and down, his tail wagging and him panting like crazy.

I'm just thankful that we're given a week to grow accustomed to the life without him, knowing that he's gonna leave anyway, instead of just taking him away in an awful accident or just overnight. The last week was somewhat painful for him seeing his irregular breathing, and glazed eyes, so it's probably mercy to take him away now than one more day of suffering.

He's a really magnificent dog, and a survivor. He met with food poisoning and all sorts, and came back stronger than ever. He's a tough one.

and though most times, he annoyed my dad cause whenever my dad drives out, Pongo will get any chance to run out and my dad has to chase him out, somehow, he managed to creep into my dad's heart too.

He has moved on to a better place, a better life and a better owner. and I just have to continue living on without him and embark on a new academic year without.. no with him. Cause he's always in my family's heart. He IS family. :)
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